When All That's Left Is You ...

Today's the last day of 2013 here in Indonesia ...
It's been raining from early morning ...
It's like the nature would like to wash away all the rough moments of our lives ...
And giving us all hopes ... To do better in the next year ...

We're not perfect ...
None of us are ...
We all made mistakes ...
Everything in life teaches us a lesson ...
All we need to do is just willing to learn from it ^^

"A night before new year is the moment where you stop and reflect on the year that has gone by ...
To remember both our triumphs and our missteps ...
Our promises made, and broken ...
The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt ...
Because that's what New Year's all about ...
Getting another chance ...
A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more ...
And stop worrying about 'what if' and start embracing what would be ...
Let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long." 

Learned a precious thing at this last day of 2013 ...

In order to do better ...
You have to do more ...

In order to love more ...
You have to give more ...

In order to care more ...
You have to understand more ...

For someone ...
If you're lost ... You can look ...
And you will find me ...
I'm always here ...

Happy New Year 2014 ^^

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A Visit From Heaven ...

Tonight is Christmas Eve ... December 24th 2013 ...
The same like the other christmas eve ...
The spirit ...
The atmosphere ...
The anxiety ...

I always love christmas time ...
It's every christian celebration day from all over the whole world ...
Actually it's not about the tradition that must be keep ...
It's the moment that's worth it ....
Where you spend your time with peoples that means to you the most ...
Family & your loved ones ...
Everywhere you look ...
There's love ....

Where everyone call it joyful season  ...
For me ...
It always cope me "Hypophrenia" ...
It's a feeling of sadness seemingly without a cause ...
When everyone share it with their families ...
I'm just always sitting around the corner look at it with a bit envy ...
Always been like that ... From years to years ...
Nothing different with this year ...

Then suddenly out of no where ...
I see him ...
Walking towards me in a pink shirt ...
Looking at me with affection in his eyes ...
And hug me tight just like that ...
Very tight ...
I hug him back even tighter ...
No words spoken ... Just longing feeling poured ...
I feel warm ...
Someone loves me that much ...
I'm not alone ...

After a while ...
He just looking at me with smile in his face and dripping tears on his cheek ...
Letting go and walk away from me ...
"Please Don't Go" I Whispered ...
Trying my best to reach him with my hands ...
But then I woke up with tears ...
Still without him around ...
My hands only grasp the air ...
It breaks down my every wall ...
I'm tottering ...
I'm tremble ...
After 12 years ... He's visiting me again ...
On christmas eve ...
Just to let me know that I'm always loved ...

Merry Christmas Dad ...
Thank you for visiting me on this christmas eve ...
Miss you so much here on earth ...
But just for tonight ...
Let me please looking for the crowd ...
I just can't afford to be alone ...
Not tonight ...
Especially not after your visit ...
But I love you ...
I always will ...

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When You Love What You Have ... You Have Everything You Need ...

Coming back home at 10PM tonight after had few hangouts with old friends of mine ...
After quite some time not seeing each other ...
Each has different stories of their own ^^
Some people change ... Some people don't ...
That doesn't make us judging each other though ...
Each of us has our own struggling towards life ...

We're just not the same of who we are yesterday ...
Somehow life has change us ...

We strengthen by pain ...
We formed by bitterness ...
We whipped by despair ...
Sometimes we stuck on a situation that we couldn't get out of even how much we want to ...
Sometimes we always end up in a same situation over and over again and doesn't know why ...
Sometimes we already know the consequences of our choices and yet we still choose to hold on ...
There's a name for it called "Reason" ...

Each of us has our own reason ...
To hold on even if it hurts ...
To be standing still even if it tottering ...
To held your head up high even all you wanna do is mourning ...

Looking at other persons life always seems exciting ...
Grass always looks greener on the other side ...
Sometimes they have what you don't have ...
And probably makes you wonder why those blesses not given upon me ...
But if you look closely ...
They have their own difficult issues that's not happening to you ...
And probably makes you grateful that those issues not happening in your life ...
Cause you probably couldn't handle it ...

Lessons of today ...
Count your own blessings instead of others ...
Be grateful for what you already have until now ...
Even if it's just a tiny small blessings, it still your fortunate to have it ...
If you still don't have it, means you just not ready for it ^^
Keep working with what you have, keep those faith and let time will tell ...
As for right now ...
When you love what you have ... You have everything what you need ...

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