If It Makes You Happy, Then Do It ... If It Doesn't, Then Don't ...

It's been a year since my last scratch on this ...

Outside ... It's still remains the same ...
Inside ... Lots of things happened ^^

No one said it would be easy ...
It's been a long years ...
But some says goes with your heart ...

It surely isn't easy for me ...
Try to find my own peaceful mind ...
Fight for what I want ...
Almost give up in the process ...
Accept all the pains, harsh comments, humiliations, viciousness, ruthless attitude, just because one thinking ..
Happiness is just not for me ....
It never really are ...

There's a quotes I'll remember precisely and it helps me through it ...
"2 things : If it makes you happy, do it ... If it doesn't, then don't ..."

It keeps repeating on my head ...
Then it hits me like that ...
Do I want this ?
Could I bear this pain for the rest of my life ?
When the last time I feel truly alive and not just living ?
Could I still be able to touch happiness ?
Not just to touch ... I want it, feel it and live it ...
I want to be "ME"
My precious "ME" that buried I don't even remember for how long ...

Encourage my self to letting go ...
It takes all my nerves to did it ...
Break loose from this toxic situation ...
If I'm not gonna fight for my own happiness, then who ?
It should come from me, not anyone else ...

Finally I did it ...
Can't believe my self for being able to did it !
Don't know how ... Forget the details ...
But finally even a little ... I could breathe ...
It's just like open a tiny window after being caged in a closed room without an air ...
Blowing winds wiggle my hair ...
I did it !!!

For every choices you made ...
There's always consequences that comes with it ...
The beginning is always the hardest ...
But you know something ...
It's worth it ^^